HERE'S MY WEEKLY POEM FOR OUR ANGELS
“Sick And Tired And Tired Of Being Sick”
Sick and tired and tired of being sick,
tis no joke, nor am I trying to be slick.
You cant sleep, sit, walk or even stand,
that’s when i redirect my pain and take pen in hand.
Electric shocks runs though you like water over the falls,
what, who and why isn’t there anyone i can talk to and call.
Pains keeping us up all night, then all through the day,
many try to console and comfort us, but what can one say.
Its not something new and am pretty sure it wont soon disappear,
you get so sick of it you just want to shift gears.
Get out of low and move it to overdrive,
yet the pains linger strongly as the morn arrives.
Does anyone else have any clue on what we can do,
this sure wasn’t a lesson we were taught at school.
You move, not by choice but rather due to shocking nerve pains,
the intensity increases with the weather comes snow or rain.
Wanting to scream and then you want to just yell out loud,
and then there are times you just want to slip off of the cloud.
Free falling till the earth finds you were it meets the sky,
taking so many meds, no relief, no buzz not even a high.
Ya want to complain but how and why for its not fair to others,
oh he’ll i moved again and my yell in a pillow I shall smother.
Cant wake the house for its not their fault, nor their burden to carry,
yes she is my wife and through good and bad as we both agreed when married.
I want to wake her at times and just cry cause the pains are too much,
yet I cant do this to her, heck i cant even bare the wind it hurts to be touched.
So I lay here wanting to feel better yet no relief is in sight,
another pain filled evening filled with dark thoughts that can be a fright.
How are we to endure so much, don’t say god gives you what you can handle,
my feat burn, my muscles ache, my nerves shout with electric pains its a damn scandal.
I want to be who I was so many years ago, I’m not sure i can even recall,
how it felt not to suffer with pains, why is it worse comes spring and fall.
I know many of us deal with this everyday and some longer then I,
feeling guilty because some are worse off, yet still i want to just cry.
I am sick of the pains and always feeling so sore and tired,
dam meds will be with me forever like a live wire.
Some we know have no clue as to how we always feel,
to give up and quit at times sounds easy, yet I can not yield.
Its not my nature to quit and that’s because I know I live to love,
still there are times I raise my hand and curse those above.
Just let me have a few days of no pain come he’ll or high water,
so I can honestly smile to Deb my wife, Gus and Eddie’s daughter.
I was to give her a life of happiness not this one filled with such strife,
yet here I am awake, sore, tired, crying through another dark night.
Why cant i follow my deepest loves and my desires,
when will the RSD stop, how can I put out these fires.
If its not the burning sensation then my nerves become a mess,
because of this stupid thing called fibro and this damned SPMS.
Now comes the dawn, it creeps over the horizon ever so quick,
did I mention to you I was sick and tired and tired of being sick.